Autism+depression.....a crippling combo.

 Hello,i am now 43..and i have one of the best memories of my entire life,spanning all the way to when i was a baby.....now,some say they wish they could remember,i wished i could forget.my first counselor who seen me at 16,was deeply troubled.she said that i was the first person she met that had truly given up,that i did not see any purpose to life.she was right.after 16 years of watching my mother,father fight,them my brothers..it broke me.it was violent,it was hateful.i saw this world,as many with autism do,as being wrong,as if i did not belong here,as though i was from another world.why do people do such cruel things,is this love?i finally got so numb i could not do any school work.i went from the honor roll to failing.the school counselor did not know how to help.so,ii dropped out.i believe now i probably had two nervous breakdowns in my teens,both resulting from the thick cloud of tension that existed in my family.i stayed in my room,just sitting by myself.
  i never felt warmth.i do not know wither it was the autism or my family.but,this excludes my mother.she was the only light i had in the world.she tried to keep me happy to some degree,but that would be snuffed out in a hour.i never had felt such coldness as when i would walk in after my family had a big blow up.i learned to not be heard or seen if possible.now,i still can not break that part,and it kills me.how do you break a program that you have had for decades?it did not help that i was nearly killed when i was 12.it left me with several neurological problems.i never had true friends.most did not really care to have me around unless no one else was around.
   i have talked and tried to help other parents of kids with autism.i told them we pick up emotion.not words.you can be talking nice,but if your body is saying i am angry,we will be cautious and shy,withdrawn.another thing that annoys me is when i get in a large noisy crowd,i can not focus on one voice,and have actually gotten where i do not hear any voices just noise.and one guy threatened to beat me up,"you stood there and i was talking to you,and when i was asking you something you ignored me,your very unpleasant'.also,i see people in unusual places,and suddenly i do not remember them.and i really can not tell how i fell at the time someone asks,it is impossible.i can not put feelings into words.i know this has jumped around,but,i will try again.......i hope this helps someone.

the ukraine and russia...and putins dream of rebuilding the soviet union.

 we all watched as the Ukrainian people took back their government.now,the new czar of Russia is drooling ,itching to invade the Ukraine.why?because the new leaders want a pro western Ukraine?no.because it is an easy excuse to use to invade and begin Putin dream of a resurrected soviet union.it has been his dream.and ,if he does invade,there is no guarantee of an easy victory.yes,one half will support Russia.but,lets say the other half does like Afghanistan did to Russia.that would be the ultimate embarrassment.and one befitting a man who is willing to crush a popular uprising with military power.if Russia does invade,Europe,the united states had better recognize it for what it is ,an attempt by Putin to begin rebuilding the U.S.S.R. and begin preparations.because if they do not,they may figure it out to late.

hatred in america.

 why did this ad cause so many to lose there mind?i found it to be inspiring,we are the great melting pot of the world.and it is nice to be reminded of that.but,we also got reminded of the poisonus hatred that still remains.it is amazing.a simple ad ,a beautiful song,caused so many blood to boil.we have so far still to go.
  then there is the stand your ground laws....and once again,Florida is the epicenter.a man got into an argument about the volume of music being played in a car.when he did not get what he wanted,he chased the occupants down,shooting them.he claims they had a weapon,but none was found in the car.it sounds like another i have a gun so i will do what i want and say i was threatened.these laws are nothing more than a license to kill.and they need to be abolished.but,with lawmakers already bought by the nra,it is unlikely we will see this happen.but it is guaranteed that there will be another stand your ground shooting.

The Awful truth on spying.

 Eric snowden is having a good laugh with his new friend Vladamir Putin.he sent more data on the nsa,data he was never supposed to have,data that is sensitive to the security of the united states.in it,he saya the united states has been spieing on  the leaders of Spain,France,Germany and the u.k. and everyone in Europe shit themselves.and are demanding an explanation and a apology from the u.s...only one problem,they do the same thing to us and each other.when the president of the united states goes overseas,the people with him are not allowed to take cell phones,because they can tap into them and get sensitive data.the president is always under the assumption that someone is listening.point two,for all she knows France has also done this.since France has a history of spieing on its allies.if i was the president,i would say  SO WHAT ALL OF YOU DO THE SAME DAMN THING.and what is feeding this?the media.the media is fueling the idea that we should not spy at all.bush did this and no one said a word...all it took was a two bit coward treason man like Eric snowden and all you hear is Europe shiting themselves.get over it.
 are they demanding their enemies Russia,china,Iran to quit spying?do they think the Russians would?this is why the cia should find a way to kill Eric snowden.he does not mind what he is doing because he wants the destruction of the U.S..he and his Russian benefactors love watching them turn on America.maybe the u.s should pull out of Europe,and leave them to the Russian,Chinese,Iranian triad.

Time to move foward.....

 W e here in the United States came close to living a real nightmare,default on our debts.the fact that this was being used as a weapon in negotiations should not be lost to any American.the fact is ,if that had happened,it would have set in motion a domino effect that would have been catastrophic.this,is no way to run a government.and i am appalled that this happened.and,if your not,you are fooling yourself.a lot of Americans have no idea just how much the federal government contributes to their everyday life.and what it would be like for it to have went into default.the tea party has been lieing and saying a default would not have been that bad....i can not comprehend why a member of congress would say such a thing.it is irresponsible,reckless.unless your real goal is the destruction of this country.i hope all sides realized they need to work together.but,the freedom works...aka..tea party went on and said they lost because they did not stand firm.which to me says,get ready,we are going to do this again.because of the tea party mind set,we have already been down graded.and i do not see anything to keep us from being down graded again.
    my fellow American,i do not care if you are gop or democratic....we can not allow this to continue.we must work together.yes,we need to find ways to cut the debt.yes,we need to work on obamacare.....but we do not need to ever do this again.we are only hurting ourselves and our future.America is going to fall further and further behind unless our leaders understand they work for us.not just democrats,not just republicans.once elected you represent all of us.and to my tea party Americans....tell your tea party members there allegiance is not with the koch brothers,but with all Americans.

the truth behind the gop shutdown.

 you hear it everywhere.the reason the government is shutdown is because of obamacare.....but is that really what it is about?no.in then candidate Romney`s closing argument he warned that if he was not elected,the gop and the tea party would ruin the economy and cause the down fall of America.so,he told us what to expect.and yet,many refuse to see the government shut down for what it is.the gop holding America hostage,economic terrorism.the gop has tried several times to overturn obamacare,and lost.they ran the 2012 election on obamacare,and lost.the gop and tea party are now doing what all spoiled kids do....they are throwing a fit and breaking everything.THIS WAS PLANNED IN 2012 AFTER ROMNEY LOST.and we as a nation must demand they stop.and if they don`t we must demand they resign..THIS WILL HAPPEN AGAIN.they caused us to lose our credit rating,and it is going to happen again.they are willing to destroy the U.S. to get what they want.my fellow American,we need to hold them accountable.

when did it become acceptable for congressmen to want to destroy the U.S?

 It is now official.both ted Cruz and john boehner have said on national tv,they are willing to allow the u.s to go into default rather than admit they lost they fight to override obamacare.what the fuck?in Ronald Regan day,these guys would have been seen for what they are traitors,and communist agents.this group has tried 52 times to repeal obamacare and failed.now,they have got a gun at every americans head and saying do what i want or i will riun you.
    And they will.a default will cause or credit rating to be lost again.will cause the economy to stall,will cause the debt ceiling to quadruple.and yet,these men who claim the are responsible congressmen,are willing to do it.we as Americans need to stand up to the gop and tea party and say no.and ,in my they are guilty of treason.they say they are doing this to defund obamacare.but lets think.they have been doing this for nearly six years.it is not about obamacare.it is about a bunch of hate filled red necks being pissed that a black man won the election twice.and to show their hatred ,they  are willing to destroy the country they claim they love.dear john boehner.....prove you love America pass a budget,then try to re-do obamacare.that`s how a real American would do.not hold the entire country hostage.if you can not do this then your a fraud,and should resign